Anonymous asked: When… did you realize you loved John (or he loved you)? What was it like? sorry if you’ve already explained this, I’m a newer follower
i didnt realize i loved john until i was already fuckdeep in it
like there wasnt a specific moment
some people think it happens when you lock eyes across a crowded room or when you look at your paycheck and think the best way to spend it would be paying someone to write their name in the sky or whatever but there wasnt any of that
we just talked to each other a lot on pchum and shit
being in love with your best friend is hard because at first you dont know if youre just really great friends maybe youre mistaking friendship for love because youve never had such a great friend before
so i guess if you want specifics i liked egbert a lot when jade first introduced me to him but i also liked jade a lot because she was my first good friend so that was kind of dumb and confusing
april 13th 2009
i tried to ask jade out via remix but she was idling so i slathered bullshit over what id typed and backpedaled like mad and maybe its a good thing she never got around to reading the log because i realized that i wasnt sure about anything at all also meteors obliterated the earth
im still not really sure about stuff
i sound like an ass but i havent had any magical epiphany where i realize that john loves me more than just as his best friend or maybe i did but i dont remember because i dont know why he does or why he would and sometimes im afraid that if we didnt both play sburb he wouldnt ever have chosen me
like literally i wouldnt either its ok
i dont bring anything to the table save words words and useless words
i think the moment how bad ive got it for john sunk in was when he was flying the car and it was nighttime and it was the fourth of july so fireworks were going off and we drove right through fireworks and i was looking at his face all lit up in red and blue and he seemed so focused and determined and john
thats what it felt like
i love you so much
(via moeartea)
